Posted by: ritagone | June 5, 2013



I think I’ve talked about my movie club here before: MOM, we call ourselves, Movie of the Month Club.  (The MOM was created to throw people off, so that they would think we were doing something altruistic and magnanimous and motherly rather than selfishly going to a film once a month!  Pretty clever, huh?)  We meet on the first Tuesday of the month and go to a film – usually at one of the local movie theaters, of which there are a fortunate abundance in our area – or watch something on DVD at my house when, as occasionally does happen, nothing suits our wishes at the theaters.

After we watch the movie, we eat.  We walk to a nearby restaurant (again, of which there are fortunately many) and try to refrain from talking too much about the film we’ve just seen, although it’s a difficult thing to ask a bunch of women to do: keep quiet when you’re enthusiastic and have a lot to say about something.  We eat and fellowship and enjoy one another’s company, and then we get to the “business” at hand: we go around the table and share our thoughts and impressions of the movie one by one, as if we were each Roger Ebert, and when that’s all done, we give it a numerical ranking, 1 to 10, 10 being highest.

This protocol has evolved over a few years of meeting together.  It’s interesting to me how any group gets into a traditional “rut” about doing things, and this group is no different, thank goodness.  Who says these regulations are boring and staid?  I think, for us gals, they give borders and boundaries to what we do the first Tuesday of the month.  Everyone knows the plan.  No surprises.  Come, join in, be a part of something, enjoy.  Simple.  There are probably 25-30 women on the email list, and we’ve now expanded so that there are almost always one or two or more husbands who join us, sometimes even for lunch, if they’re brave enough.  Usually, though, the husbands slink away after the film, knowing that the “girls” love their girl time.

We add new women all the time.  It’s a fluid group.  We are very welcoming.  Yesterday our 87-year-old friend Yola joined us for the first time.  The movie overwhelmed her a bit, but I still think she had a good time.  Who wouldn’t?

And while the movie is fun and often stimulating, and lunch is tasty, what I really love about this group is that it is made up of women, in all shapes and sizes, women I’ve known for a few months and women I’ve known for decades.  Some of them have known others in the group for many, many years.  Often we have stories to tell of how our lives have intertwined and intersected in investment clubs, church, community organizations, kids’ lives, and the many ways you can cross paths with others when you live in the same community for so many years.

People talk about moving out of California all the time.  I just read a book that I found badly written and just plain awful called “The Ultimate Obama Suvival Guide” whose main point for said survival was to get the reader out of high tax states like Illinois, New York, and, yes, California, to begin a new life in a low tax state like Nevada, Florida, or, gulp, Texas.  I can’t imagine.  I can understand if you have no choice, packing up and moving to another state, starting all over again, away from friends and family and institutions you have been a part of for your entire adult life.  I know plenty of people who have actually had to do this, and I don’t look at them with envy.

But while I was sitting with my ten girlfriends yesterday afternoon, laughing and telling stories and reminiscing and reviewing the movie like we were a group of Hollywood film critics whose opinions really changed the course of movie history, sharing life and edamame and splitting salads and quesadillas and marveling over where life has taken us through the years, I looked around at their faces and thought to myself, “I will willingly pay some more taxes just to be able to do this for the rest of my life.”

If you’ve got a friend or two like this, with whom you share a great deal of life experience and tenure, tell him or her today how much you appreciate what you have together.  Too often I let weeks or months go by without saying to my friends – including these women of MOM – how much I value and love them in my life.

So right here, right now, I’d like to say to the friends of MOM, I love you, I appreciate you, thanks for the great times the first Tuesday of every month…and see you at the movies!


  1. Great post!! I feel the same way.

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. Very sweet Rita!

  3. Loved your post and plan on reading it out loud to Bill. Over the years Bill has become frustrated with California politics and will say to me ” I don’t know if we wanna stay here in California and retire. What other state could you live in? ” my reply is I don’t care if we have to pay 90% income tax I love California ”
    This is where we do life with friends and family…. We’ve done a lot of traveling and always love to come back this place. So grateful ! And thank you Rita for reminding us how precious our lifelong friendships are! I so appreciate you! Love u💗 Jana

    • You’re right, Jana. Too often I’ve seen friends move away to save money and be miserable. Get Bill to agree to stay put. It’s worth it. Besides, moving costs a lot of money!! Thanks for reading the blog and responding so often with such positive feedback. Love, Rita

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