Posted by: ritagone | November 11, 2015




I never thought I’d read the following headline in my lifetime, one which appeared today on my daily email version of the U.S. edition of the highly regarded British newspaper The Guardian: “Tinder needs to stop acting like there are only two genders in the world.” Written by someone named Zach Stafford, it refers to the dating site that has caused such a recent stir by – wait for it! – among other things, only catering to two genders, male and female, and neglecting the other manifestations of gender such as trans.

Now, I don’t know a thing about Zach Stafford, nor do I particularly want to, but I do know this: when God created everything in the universe, we’re told that He only made a man and a woman. I don’t read in the Bible that transgenders were a part of creation.

I know, I know: there are millions of people who don’t believe in the Bible or refer to it at all for meaning or wisdom in life. And I also know that, given the last decade or so and the push to normalize all sorts of gender stuff, from same-sex marriage to transgender legitimacy, I get that this is much more complicated an issue – with many, many layers – than ultra-conservative Christians would have us all believe.

That’s why I’m confused: I’m not sure where I’m supposed to land on this topic, on these happenings, how “fair and balanced” my viewpoint is supposed to be. I want to exhibit the grace and love Jesus encourages me to exhibit, but I also want to know when and if I’m supposed to draw a line in the sand and say, “No more! I will not cross over to this particular position!”

I don’t have the answer to where we (or I) should object vehemently and where I should not. For example, I’m pretty sure that the hoo-ha over the red Starbucks cups is not something I’m going to go berserk over. Starbucks is a secular business, not the Southern Baptist Convention, so the fact that the word “Christmas” isn’t appearing on their seasonal cups is just not significant…to me. No confusion there, thank goodness.

But there’s so much that I am confused about these days, it more than compensates for my certainties. Situations with people, for example, real people I know and have had a relationship with, continue to baffle me and make me scratch my head. Are they honest, as honest as I thought they were? Have I been duped? We’re going through something right now that confuses me greatly with a long-term friend and business associate, and I don’t like that feeling. Or why don’t other people see things the way I see them? Don’t they understand what I’m trying to accomplish, what I’m trying to say, how very right I am? These questions whirl around in my head until I want to drop my extrovert-ness and retreat into a deep cave, where no people are around to clutter and confuse my mind.

Because confusion seems to be the mental state of the times. We’re all confused about one thing or another, and most of us – myself included – don’t wear it well. In an attempt to become unconfused and have clarity, we seem to dig ourselves deeper and deeper into the well of confusion and head shaking.

I have no answers that will satisfy everyone at this point, and so I’m left with my own probing questions and thoughts, trying to sort it all out.

So we’re pretty much all on our own mentally as we struggle through the confusing issues of our lives. Except that I believe that there’s a book that brings clarity and answers when I’m confused, and I need to be spending more time reading it and coming to terms with what it is telling me.

That book is the Bible, and so far it’s the only way I have found to sort out the confusions of the world around me that often threaten to overwhelm.




  1. Well said. Thanks for sharing.

    • I think about the story of Noah… In the midst of it all he stayed on course busy about God’s business.
      I suppose everyone can be a commentary about this and that and we can get caught up in it all, or we can just go about God’s business as the Word says the Truth. Some will come along seeking, and many will just challenge…
      Love your rambles Rita.

  2. I will have to think about what you have said or what you have not said.There are simple answers , such as living and loving like Jesus. I have learn thru my ups and downs while being a police officer, in the military ,in business and raising my family that the simple answer for me is God will be the Judge at the end of a persons life and that he wants me to be a better example to people (and i need a lot of work on this).

    Thanks Rita for sharing your thoughts

  3. Sharing your confusion, but holding onto the God who is a God of peace and order and calm and no confusion.

  4. Amen, sister!

  5. thank you Rita…keeps me praying for “wisdom” and realizing I am never going to figure things out but know that God is in control.

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