Posted by: ritagone | April 26, 2017

A Death in the “Family”



This has been a hard week for many people I know. We lost a dear friend quite unexpectedly, thinking it was “only” going to be a difficult open heart surgery and then having it instead result in his untimely death.

Death is almost always untimely. We’re never ready for it or prepared for it.

Now everyone is reeling. And trying to figure out how to help. Two reactions at opposite ends of the spectrum, equally real and equally present.

So this writing is short, because I’m preoccupied and a bit in shock.

But I do want to say one thing, which I’ve said before but which seems much more urgent now: if you love someone, if there are people in your life right this minute that come to your mind when I say this, then go hug them if they’re reachable physically. Tell them you love them if you can’t physically hug them. Because truly, as clichéd as it is, it is so very right: you just never know how much time you have with them, either because they might die or you might. I hate to be macabre, but that’s the reality of life. You might not even finish reading this. I might not finish writing it. That’s how arbitrary or unknown the specter of death is for us.

Thankfully, God knows. He’s in control. That’s why the verses that speak to the fact that He knows the exact days of our lives, the very number of them, the very number of hairs on our heads, those verses become so relevant and significant when someone we care about dies suddenly or unexpectedly. Because we have to lean on the truth that God – when everything else appears out of control – knows and cares and has it all under control.

And until there’s a reunion in heaven, that will just have to do.


  1. Hi Rita, I’m sorry for your loss. You are right, death is always shocking no matter how it happens. I think that’s because just as God intended, death was never meant to be. I’m so glad ultimately Jesus defeated death. Praying for you and your loved ones today.

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