Posted by: ritagone | March 28, 2018

You Just Have to Laugh!

I have always said that my husband is the funniest person I know.  Since we started dating in the Stone Age, he has made me laugh like no one else can.  This is proven by the recent “procedure” he had at the local hospital for a rather large kidney stone which wouldn’t exit normally.  So they had to go in and blast it.  He decided to describe his hospital visit to friends in an email, and I bring it to you here in its entirety so that you can enjoy it too.  Tell me after reading it if you don’t agree that he’s a very funny man!  (By the way, he’s on the mend.)

 The “procedure” is called an extracorporeal wave lithotripsy. I looked that term up on the Internet. It is a Latinphrase for “Spanish Inquisition Torture.”

I will spare you the details but it all starts with being forced to disrobe in front of the entire Los Robles nursing staff, having an I.V. placed in your arm with a needle the size of a ballpoint pin, placed on a stainless steel table that has been in a commercial freezer for three days and then given a “cocktail” to put you under. Just a heads up for any of you going in for one of these: when the “cocktail” enters the blood stream it feels very much like lava. When you cry out in pain and beg one of the twenty-six people in the room to kill you, one of the masked doctors will say, “that’s normal”, as if that is supposed to be comforting.

Eventually everything goes blank and then the next thing you hear is someone saying “Mr. Warren, we’re done. You can lay here in great pain for a couple of hours while we have someone try to find your clothes.

       The good news in all this is that the pain meds are really wonderful.

 

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